How to Cope with Graduation Anxiety-Post #2 of 2...Parent Anxiety

Even though it’s the student who is graduating, parents experience anxiety around graduation. Recognizing the feelings you have will help you cope and face the future with anticipation and excitement.

Losing your baby

You’re graduating from years of college prep. For most parents it starts early—thinking and planning for their college education. When they are born, you think you have all the time in the world. This month, that time has flown by and you can’t believe they will be leaving soon for college. And the anxiety over losing your baby begins.

Fearing for their safety

College is a frightening place for parents. Your student is living away from you, not accountable to anyone but himself or herself. They will be out at night, out with friends, and probably doing things that they were not allowed to do at home. Not to mention all the school shootings. This makes a parent even more anxious. It’s a difficult transition for parents, but one you will have to face. If you ask questions at parent orientation about campus safety and emergency practices, you will rest easier. But you’re always going to worry about them when they are away from home.

Facing the empty nest

After years of shuffling them to school, sports, working on homework, and most recently spending every waking moment on college prep, what will you do with all this free time? If this is your only child, you’re going to feel lost. If this is your last one and you’re facing an empty nest, be prepared to grieve. It’s going to happen; embrace it. Then, as with all grief, it will pass and it’s time for you to readjust your priorities. It’s time to ask yourself this question: What do I want? For 18 years or more it’s been all about them; now it’s time for it to be all about you!

Wondering if they are ready for adulthood

How will they remember to do their homework, wash their hands, clean their rooms, and get up in time for class? What will they eat and when will they eat? Will they get enough rest and concentrate on their health? Will they make friends easily? Will they succumb to peer pressure? You’ve been their lifejacket for the last 18 years. It’s time for them to swim, and possibly sink, on their own. Trust that you have taught them well and if they do start to struggle or fail, they will work it out as all adults must do. It’s scary standing on the sidelines but it’s time to remind yourself they will be fine without you.

One mom said it perfectly:

"This adulthood is in actuality an individualization, not just for the child, but for the parents as well. Most parents have not been living their lives as "individuals" since before the birth of their children, sometimes even since before they became married. Therefore this anticipation of "being on my own" can easily be viewed with both fear and excitement for parents and their children."

Graduation is a universal "moving on." It conjures up images of our childhood and the consummate camp song "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold."

So as graduation approaches, wipe the tears, celebrate their achievement, and look ahead to the future. It’s going to be an exciting era—for both you and your kids